THE ECHO

by Zoe Smyth

Almost every morning I walk into Avon High School with my best friend, my sister, and the hope that it will be a good day. That hope is quickly diminished when I spot the geese on the roof of Avon’s entrance staring me down with murder in their eyes.

For as long as I have lived in Avon, geese have been a rather large presence around the spring months. Whether they are in my lawn, in my neighborhood pond, or blocking the road to school, it seems there is no escaping the feathered menaces.

While I can’t say I have ever been personally attacked by geese, I know firsthand the mental turmoil they can cause. When I go on runs, ride my bike, or even step outside for a second to get the mail, there is almost always a goose or two waiting for me. As I carefully walk around them, their beady eyes follow me until I am out of their sight. On occasion, they even follow me for a minute or two and hiss at me.

As you can imagine, this causes me great mental distress. I have done nothing to these geese, yet they seem to have a big problem with me and the rest of the world.

What does this remind me of? The ever-familiar, not-so-pleasant group of middle-aged women labeled “Karens.”

According to Dictionary.com, the official definition of a Karen is “a middle-aged woman who is perceived as obnoxious, angry, or entitled.” This description seems to fit the personalities of Canadian Geese awfully well. They have no sense of personal space; they become agitated no matter what you do, and they feel the need to hiss and chase people over the smallest of interactions.

Another similarity between geese and Karens is their “territorial instincts.” Just as Karens guard grocery parking spots that are in no way theirs, geese lay their nests in the most inconvenient of spaces. Then they blame the people around them for daring to interfere with “their territory”.

Now, I get that geese hang out in our space for a reason. Populated areas mean less predators and more resources for the geese. However, there is a line that geese simply should not cross; that line is building their nest in the garden of someone’s backyard instead of at the base of the perfectly nice bush right outside the fence. This is simply going too far in my opinion.

So the next time you see a goose glaring at you like you’ve just cut in front of it at McDonalds, remember—you’re not crazy. You are just witnessing nature’s very own

Karens in action. And just like with real Karens, sometimes the best thing to do is give them space, avoid eye contact, and pray they don’t start chasing you through the parking lot. Trust me.