In Praise of Homework: Your New Favorite Hobby (Satire)

By Ella Staton // Editor-in-Chief

I entered my car after a rather short day of school and felt a wave of emptiness. It was the first time I had been separated from my sacred studies all day. I raced home and grabbed my bulky backpack from the backseat of my car. I set it down for the first time all day just to immediately open it up again. I engrossed myself in vigorous studies and homework assignments. Before I knew it, my clock read 9:30 p.m. There was no better way to spend my night.

Homework, a dreaded thing by most teens, is truly a blessing in disguise. Homework keeps students absorbed in the topics learned in school and away from the distracting factors of the outside world.

Hours of notes and assignments in school are not enough to ensure students retain the topics taught in class. When students leave the classroom, all the topics flee to the glowing exit sign in the student’s brains. The only solution is assigning more work for them to do once they return to their homes. Doing the work at home will ensure that they do retain all the knowledge. The student’s home is a distraction-free environment, perfect for schoolwork. Once the student returns home, they can begin their assignments for the night: two papers for math, a lab for science, an essay for English, and a project for Spanish. Perfect, the students can now replicate their schedule at home, as they have an extra homework assignment for each class. Repetition is key, and fully replicating their school schedule at home is the perfect way to stay engaged.

Without homework, students would have a boring and nonsensical life. Going to dinner with friends and sitting around the TV. with family will get students nowhere in life. Although, this shouldn’t be a worry for students, as their evening schedule is packed full. A break for a measly dinner might be available, but at the cost of the student’s 11:00 p.m. bedtime. Also, homework can truly strengthen relationships. Spending too much time with friends can cause arguments and fights. A simple text every few nights asking how to do the homework makes for a much more stable relationship. Homework will ensure that you never run out of things to do.

The next time you’re drowning in assignments, remember, homework is not a punishment! It is there to keep you occupied and focused on what is most important: school.

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