THE ECHO

By Miryam Starr // Reporter

The average height for a sixteen-year-old girl in America is five feet five inches. I am five feet tall, and, for the sake of being obnoxious, I’m five feet one inch in my Converse. Unfortunately, there are some scenarios where being on the shorter side is less of a blessing and more of a curse. Passing period. A seven-minute span of chaos and horror for the vertically challenged. “I can’t see where I’m going! Where am I supposed to turn? Is that kid cussing at me? Why are we going so slow? Why did she just stop right in front of me? Where am I? How did I get here? Am I dreaming? Is that a teacher? Why is that kid seven feet tall? What’s that smell? What did I just step in? Is that the music? STAY IN YOUR LANE BUDDY!” In any case, I hope to benefit the school by sharing my ten-step process for survival.

STEP ONE – Know your route before exiting your classroom.  It’s easy to get lost when there is nobody here, and it’s ten times easier to get lost with four thousand other people pushing, shoving, and milling around.

STEP TWO – Keep your eyes peeled. I don’t know about you but I’m at elbow and backpack level for lots of people. One swift turn and BOOM. Backpack in the face. One emphatic conversation and THUMP. Elbow to the nose. To avoid concussions, broken noses, and hospital bills, I recommend keeping your eyes on what’s happening around you. The hallways are not the time to be a screenager, get to class first, check your texts later.

STEP THREE – Keep your head up. Assert dominance people! Are you the type that is easily missed and gets elbowed in the face? No, you’re not! Don’t let people push you around. You have places to be and things to do. Although keep in mind, you are confident, but you are short. You want people to see you, not to wish violence upon you.

STEP FOUR – Collect a group. It’s a protection bubble. They can be tall, they can be short, I don’t care. The point is, there is safety in numbers. It’s okay if you have a passing period without your friends, and it’s okay if you aren’t a people person. Your backup is music. Air pods, headphones, just something. Block everything out and own the “leave me alone” attitude.

STEP FIVE – Walk fast. Keep moving. Nobody likes it when they have somewhere to be and your going slower than a snail in front of them, stay out of the way. The faster you walk, the faster you are in a calm classroom, facing no danger… assuming you did your homework, and studied for the test.

STEP SIX – Go with the flow. You’re petite, try and go against traffic, and you’ll get trampled. Find the gaps, make the right turns, and stay in your lane. Or… try to shove through people and get elbowed in the face.

STEP SEVEN – Apologize. If someone runs into you, apologize. If you run into someone, apologize. Look innocent and unsuspecting. Say you’re sorry and escape the situation. You’ll get to live another day, thank me later.

STEP EIGHT – Don’t turn around. That’s another good way to get trampled. You hear your name in a crowded hallway? Keep moving buddy because if you turn around BOOM. Seven foot tall fourteen-year-old right in front of you, and do you think the kid is going to be able to stop in time?

STEP NINE – Arrive safely to your location and practice your deep breathing to recover from the traumatic experience that we affectionately refer to as passing period.

STEP TEN – Repeat. You’re Welcome.